Aunt Eleanor
Last edited March 4th, 2026

Life in Washington, D.C.
Aunt Eleanor was married to my Uncle Matt, my father’s older brother by about seven years. For more than 28 years, they lived at 2701 Connecticut Avenue, Apartment 208, in Washington, D.C.
Their apartment was larger than most in the building. It had a spacious combined living and dining room, a galley kitchen, two bedrooms, and one bathroom with classic black-and-white basket weave tile. Each bedroom held two single beds. The building was located about five blocks north of Dupont Circle and two blocks from the Smithsonian National Zoological Park.
If you stayed overnight in the guest room, you would wake in the morning to the sound of gibbons howling and lions roaring — an unmistakable reminder of how close the zoo was.

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Personality and Presence
Aunt Eleanor had a salt-of-the-earth personality. She was warm, grounded, and unpretentious — the perfect counterpart to my uncle, who was more cerebral and academic in temperament. She had a natural ability to make people feel comfortable and welcomed.

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Christmas Traditions in Massachusetts
Each Christmas, Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Matt traveled to our home at 23 Lawndale Street in Belmont, Massachusetts. They arrived either by car — driving their distinctive low-number Washington, D.C. license plate, number 54 — or by train into Boston’s Back Bay or South Station, often several hours late.
My uncle typically booked a private compartment and brought lunch from a favorite Washington delicatessen. During their visit, they stayed upstairs with my grandmother and my father’s sister and her husband.
Christmas Eve followed a familiar rhythm. We opened presents and then attended midnight Mass. Around ten o’clock, my brothers, sister, and I would gather in the downstairs back room waiting for Santa Claus. Uncle Matt would suddenly announce that Santa had just arrived. We would rush to the front porch, hoping for a glimpse. One year, my brother Ed insisted he saw the sleigh in the sky.

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My College Years at Georgetown
I came to know Aunt Eleanor more personally when I entered Georgetown University in 1966. About once a month, I visited their apartment — a welcome escape from dormitory life and cafeteria meals.
Dinner was usually roast beef with whipped potatoes and green beans, followed by ice cream. Occasionally, Eleanor prepared beef stroganoff. Some evenings included guests — law clerks, local friends, or visitors from the State Department and other federal agencies.
Seeing them in their own home allowed me to understand them as full individuals with rich and interesting lives. They shared stories of their past, and I listened with genuine interest.

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Courtship, Career, and Shared Interests
Aunt Eleanor met Uncle Matt while working as a secretary at the law firm of Paul Dever, who later became Governor of Massachusetts. My uncle was also affiliated with the firm.
Eleanor and Matt shared a love of antiques. They spent many Saturdays browsing antique shops, carefully selecting pieces for their apartment. The result was a beautifully curated home. Eleanor had a gift for hospitality. Before dinner, the men were offered beer and the women a glass of sherry — a small but gracious ritual.

 

Generosity Toward Family
Although they had no children of their own, Eleanor and Matt were deeply generous toward my father’s four children. My uncle paid my sister Marianne’s tuition at Emmanuel College and my tuition at Xavier High School.
Eleanor adored children and treated all of us as though we were her own.

 

Support During a Difficult Time
When I went through a separation and divorce in 1978, I initially stayed with a close friend. That summer, while Eleanor and Matt were at their home in Dennis on Cape Cod, I stayed in their Washington apartment. The quiet stability of that space helped me regain my footing. By the end of the summer, I had secured my own apartment and begun rebuilding my life.
Eleanor was a steady and compassionate source of support during that period. My six-year-old son David was always welcome there.

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Small Gestures, Lasting Memories
Eleanor kept the second drawer of her dresser stocked with candy. David never forgot to check it for chocolate.
My daughter Mandy was especially fond of her. As a little girl, she called her “Aunt Elenoo.” My wife Barbara visited Eleanor regularly, and they often walked together to the National Zoo.
When Mandy visited, Eleanor allowed her a rare privilege: lunch on a tray in front of the television — something not permitted at home. Mandy treasured that indulgence. During visits to our home in North Carolina in 1991 and 1992, Mandy would ask Eleanor to remove her wig in the guest room. Eleanor always did so without hesitation or self-consciousness.

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Devotion During Illness
In his sixties, Uncle Matt was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. The decline was gradual but difficult. The medication L-Dopa, newly available at the time, helped manage his symptoms for several years, but his condition worsened in his seventies.
Eleanor became his devoted caregiver. Though they had assistance — a night attendant named George from Colombia and a cook named Mary — the emotional and physical burden rested primarily on her. I can still hear my uncle calling out in his Boston accent: “Elenaa… Elenaa.” Always twice.
Her devotion was unwavering.

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A Wider Circle of Care
Eleanor treated all nieces and nephews equally, without favoritism. Though she entered the family by marriage, she felt entirely like blood.
My brother Ed stayed in their spare room while working the night shift at the D.C. Court. My cousin Larry Gravelle — not even her nephew by marriage — was welcomed just as warmly.
That was Eleanor. Her circle of care was simply wider than most.

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